He Jests at Scars That Never Felt a Wound

All right. No major news.

It amuses me that I'm all I ever do, according to recent posts, is watch terrible movies, make animated .gifs, go on ATV runs w/ ( silver ) muscle daddies, and hang out w/ ( my new iBff ) Mason. Which is true. Except that I also sometimes cuddle w/ Craig (although not quite as often as his 24/7 cuddle necessity requires), way too often go to work (a 9 day in a row stint ended Friday, which was a relaxing follow up to the 12 day stretch that ended on Thanksgiving. I make less money now than I did when everyone wondered how I survived 3 years ago), and masturbate, masturbate, masturbate(  masturbate ).
Who doesn't?

Going home for Xmas. Craig is staying here; his idea. Before all you bitchy queens go off about how he doesn't love me anymore, and how separate vacations are never good for anybody, let me just say that I haven't been back there in two and a half years, that I have a shitload of people to visit w/, and that I'd rather have a husbear whose hands haven't broken off in the batshit insane Wisconsin winter cold. Against which, I have no defense, no longer owning a winter jacket.

I don't know how I feel about all this homegoing. Surely I'll photodocument the wreckage.

Also (Craig reminds me to write), y'all were right. God is dead and no one cares. Praise Zeus, we need to stop these people.

Do you have horrible things growing just under your foreskin?

Craigers is terrible at reminding me of house guests, but I love him, still.

Just sayin'.

Hey, everyone should put the movie Equinox in their Netflix queue and just keep it for a week or two until one of you ends up w/ my Marlene Dietrich documentary DVD-R and sends it back to me.

I will send you used underwear if you do. Or not, if that is your preference.

I love you, all.

Also, glassbatsATwebDotDe if you wanna be frenz o'er there.

I was doing dishes the other day when I got hit by a stifling wave of death-fear, the kind that doubles you over in panic. Usually I can breathe through the attacks, but this time I had to stop washing dishes and hightail it to the backyard, where Craigers was busy w/ one landscaping task or another.

We hugged a lot, and Craigers explained that once I was dead I wouldn't have to worry about being dead, anymore. That was comforting, I guess, but sheesh...contemplating non-consciousness gives one a headache!

Lately, I've been taking up a little Kate and Allie. Sometime during season two we're treated to Kate karate kicking a New York City phone booth while Allie fiendishly giggles. This Kate does because they're all out of quarters; they have only tokens.

At times like this, it's a bit anarchistic.

Other times it's god-awfully screwball, as when Kate's public relations turn Allie's casual baking business into a breakneck thirteen cake a day habit.

And still yet are its wonderful, schizoid, political moments. In "The Landlady", the duo are forced to feign (a somewhat homophobic) lesbianism to escape a rent hike, but end up accepting their landlady's invite (once they've been outted as hetero) to the local queer dance when she also turns out to be a long time gay.

"A lot of people wouldn't consider a gay couple a family, but you do. And now, so do we," Kate tells the landlady.

Allie chimes in, "A family is anybody who wants to share their lives together [...] it's love that defines a family. And it can be any kind of love: your kind, our kind, theirs..."

That's not too shabby for 80s television, if you ask me!

And the end theme, like a cherry on top, suggesting life might be worth living after all:

Sometimes I don't realize how late 5am is or how staying up to such an hour signifies how maladjusted one really is.

What maladjustment have you exhibited lately?

We're here, now. At the new place.

On Saturday, I put my phone (whose ringer is defunct) underneath my balls while driving our 26-foot-long U-Haul truck and repeatedly called my poor, dear friend erdbeermund using only my testes. This type of thing has happened before.

Craig turned 33 yesterday; we went for a drive along the Apache Trail.

*Sigh*